Limericks: Five favourites

A limerick is a humorous five-line poem, three long (1, 2 and 5) and 
two short ones (3 and 4). In the OED, we find: "A form of nonsense verse. 
Said to be from a custom at convivial parties, according to which each member sang an extemporized 'nonsense verse', which was followed by a chorus containing the words 
'Will you come to Limerick?' (the chief town of the county of Limerick in Ireland)."

Here you have 5 of my favourite limericks, with my daring translations into Spanish:

Here are the first two, completely 'white':

There was an old man with a beard
Who said, "It is just as I feared,
  Two owls and a hen,
  Four larks and a wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"

Un viejo que larga barba tenía
Dijo: "Es lo que me temía
  Dos búhos y un polluelo
  Cuatro alondras y un reyezuelo
Sus nidos plantaron en la barba mía!"

A daring young lady of Guam
Observed, "The Pacific's so calm
  I'll swim out for a lark."
  She met a large shark...
"Let us now sing the Ninetieth Psalm".

Una osada damisela de Reno
Declaró: "El Pacífico está tan sereno
  Nadaré para mi diversión."
  Mas se encontró un gran tiburón...
"Cantemos ahora el Salmo decimonoveno".

then, one somewhat risqué:

The typists at Wheesly and Beasly
All fornicate steadily and easily.
  In this pleasant way
  They add to their pay
Which at Wheesly and Beasly is measly.

La mecanógrafas de cierta entidad
Fornican todas con gran asiduidad,
  Y de esta agradable manera
  Consiguen su paga aumentar
Que en dicha entidad deja algo que desear.

now, one rather 'obscene', but a limerick that cannot be missing from any good 
anthology of the genre, since it is considered by many as "the best of all":

There was a young plumber named Lee
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea.
  When she said: "Stop your plumbing!
  There's somebody coming!"
Said the plumber (still plumbing): "It's me!"

Había un joven fontanero llamado Omar
Jodiendo a su chica junto al mar
  Cuando ésta le dijo: "¡Deja ya de follar
  Que alguien viene corriendo!"
"Sí, soy yo", dijo el novio y siguió jodiendo.      

                                                

finally, one invented by Sir Francis, based on a well-known joke, collected and translated 
by one of his students in Los Apuntes Secretos:

A Passionate Wedding Night

The bride of a stutterer from Lee
Removed falsies, wig'n' teeth, with glee.
  Said the man at this stunt
  "When you get to the cunt
Will you p-please throw it to m-me?"

Una apasionada noche de bodas

La novia de un joven tartamudo de Sorrento
Las tetas y los dientes postizos al momento
  Además de la peluca se quitó.
  Hasta que el joven perplejo le gritó
"Cuando llegues al co-coño, échamelo con tiento".