Páginas brillantes de la literatura inglesa- 4

Comparto hoy con vosotros la primera parte de otra divertida página, tomada del capítulo tres de Three Men in a Boat de Jerome K. Jerome:

You never saw such a commotion up and down a house in all your life, as when my Uncle Podger undertook to do a job. A picture would have come home from the frame-maker's, and be standing in the dining-room, waiting to be put up; and Aunt Podger would ask what was to be done with it, and Uncle Podger would say:
'Oh, you leave that to me. Don't you, any of you, worry yourselves about that. I'll do all that.'
And then he would take off his coat, and begin. He would send the girl out for sixpenn'orth of nails, and then one of the boys after her to tell her what size to get; and, from that, he would gradually work down, and start the whole house.
'Now, you go and get my hammer, Will,' he would shout; 'and bring me the rule, Tom; and I shall want the step-ladder, and I had better have the kitchen chair, too; and, Jim! you run round to Mr Goggles, and tell him, "Pa's kind regards and hopes his leg's better; and will he lend him his spirit-level?" And don't you go, Maria, because I shall want somebody to hold me the light and when the girl comes back she must go out again for a bit of picture-cord; and Tom! - where's Tom? - Tom, you come here; I shall want you to hand me up the picture.'
And then he would lift up the picture, and drop it, and it would come out of the frame, and he would try to save the glass, and cut himself; and then he would spring round the room, looking for his handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not know where he had put the coat, and all the house had to leave off looking for his tools, and start looking for his coat; while he would dance round and hinder them.
'Doesn't anybody in the whole house know where my coat is? I never came across such a set in all my life - upon my word I didn't. Six of you! - and you can't find a coat that I put down not five minutes ago! Well, of all the -'
Then he'd get up, and find that he had been sitting on it, and would call out:
'Oh, you can give it up! I've found it myself now. Might just as well ask the cat to find anything as expect you people to find it.'
And when half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger, and a new glass had been got, and the tools, and the ladder, and the chair, and the candle had been brought, he would have another go, the whole family, including the girl, and the charwoman, standing round in semi-circle, ready to help. Two people would have to hold the chair, and a third would help him up on it, and hold him there, and a fourth would hand him a nail, and a fifth would pass him up the hammer, and he would take hold of the nail, and drop it.
'There!' he would say, in an injured tone, 'now the nail's gone.'
And we would all have to go down on our knees and grovel for it, while he would stand on the chair, and grunt, and want to know if he was to be kept there all the evening.
The nail would be found at last, but by that time he would have lost the hammer.
'Where's the hammer? What did I do with the hammer? Great heavens! Seven of you, gaping round there, and you don't know what I did with the hammer!'

to be continued

GLOSSARY

to undertake to do sth - ocuparse de hacer algo
frame-maker's - tienda del fabricante de marcos
sixpenn'orth of nails - seis peniques de clavos
to start the whole house - alborotar toda la casa
step-ladder - escalera de tijera
kind regards - saludos
spirit-level - nivel (herramienta)
to lift up - levantar
to save the glass - salvar el cristal
to spring - saltar
to leave off looking for his tools dejar de buscar sus herramientas
to hinder - estorbar
to come across sb/sth - toparse con alguien/algo
might just as well - más me valdría
candle - vela
to have another go - intentarlo de nuevo
charwoman - mujer de la limpieza
hammer - martillo
in an injured tone - en tono lastimero
to grovel for sth - buscar algo a gatas
to grunt - gruñir
to gape - mirar embobado

EJERCICIO

A ver cómo andáis de memoria. Rellenad los espacios en blanco y luego mirad el texto para comprobar si vuestras respuestas son correctas:


You never saw .... a commotion up and down a house in all your life, ... when my Uncle Podger undertook to ... a job. A picture would have come home ...the frame-maker's, and be standing in the dining-room, ..... to be put up; and Aunt Podger would ask what was to be ...with it, and Uncle Podger ....say:
'Oh, you ...that to me. Don't you, any of you, worry yourselves about that. I'll do all that.'
And then he would take ... his coat, and begin. He would send the girl out for sixpenn'orth of nails, and then one of the boys ... her to tell her what size to get; and, from that, he would gradually work down, and start the ...house.
'Now, you go and get my hammer, Will,' he would shout; 'and ... me the rule, Tom; and I shall want the step-ladder, and I ...better have the kitchen chair, too; and, Jim! you run round to Mr Goggles, and tell him, "Pa's kind .... and hopes his leg's better; and ...he lend him his spirit-level?" And ...you go, Maria, because I shall want somebody to hold me the light and when the girl comes back she must go out again for a ...of picture-cord; and Tom! - where's Tom? - Tom, you come here; I shall want you to hand me up the picture.'
And then he would lift up the picture, and drop it, and it would come out of the frame, and he would ...to save the glass, and cut ...; and then he would spring round the room, looking ...his handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, .... it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not know ... he had put the coat, and all the house had to leave ...looking for his tools, and start looking for his coat; ...he would dance round and hinder them.
'... anybody in the whole house know where my coat is? I never came ... such a set in all my life - upon my word I didn't. Six of you! - and you ... find a coat that I put down not five minutes ...! Well, of all the -'
Then he'd get up, and find that he ... been sitting on it, and would call out:
'Oh, you can give it up! I've found it ... now. Might ...as well ask the cat to find anything ... expect you people to find it.'
And when half ... hour had been spent in tying up his ..., and a new glass had been got, and the tools, and the ladder, and the chair, and the candle had been ..., he would have ... go, the whole family, ... the girl, and the charwoman, standing round in semi-..., ready to help. Two people would have to hold the chair, and a third would help him up on it, and hold him there, and a fourth would hand him a nail, and a fifth would pass him up the hammer, and he would ... hold of the nail, and drop it.
'There!' he would say, in an injured tone, '... the nail's gone.'
And we would all have to go down ... our knees and grovel ... it, while he would stand on the chair, and grunt, and want to know if he ... to be kept there ... the evening.
The nail would be found at last, but ... that time he would have ... the hammer.
'Where's the hammer? What ... I do with the hammer? Great heavens! Seven of you, gaping round there, and you don't ... what I did with the hammer!'